Wednesday, July 29, 2009

My World - Maxxed Out: "The Road To Superman's House" by Maxx Corbin

I think it was the week after EWE's Mayhem, in the parking lot of a Huddle House, when we got to talking about places we could take the Genocide vs Picture Perfect Tour. We had some looks on different bookings but nothing was set in stone. I'd throw out a city or a state and Myles and CJ would say yay or nay weather they wanted to work there or not. That’s when Myles mentioned that he had seen something on the travel channel about Metropolis, IL. Now, forget that I didn't even know there was a travel channel, or that it apparently was one of Myles' favorite stations, Metropolis could be a possibility. After all, I had family there and......that’s it...I had family there. I don't know why I thought I had a leg up in getting us a booking because of the location of my family, but in my mind we were as good as booked. So, when Myles said he wanted to go to Metropolis I said, very confidently, ok I'll make it happen.

So, I asked BT if he knew who ran Metropolis and he gave me the info. I emailed Tojo Jr and got us a booking. This was gonna be awesome! A road trip with the guys. We had all these plans about hitting the casino there and snapping some pics with the 20 foot tall Superman statue downtown. The best part of it all is that my cousin(who works at the casion there) was gonna try to comp us a room. We made it very well known that this trip was about hanging with our friends and not money and as long as we didn't lose money, we would be fine with not getting a big amount for PO. Remember that bit of info, it will be important in a minute. Either way, we were booked in 2 weeks for the city of Superman.
Genocide was sitting out of the next EWE show. We were working an angle with Premiere Brutality and they had "injured" us the week before. So with a rare Saturday at home I was relaxing when the phone rang.

Me: Hello?
CJ: Hey man, did you hear yet?
Me: What??
CJ: Chris was doing a run in and I'm not sure what happened, but I turned around and he was rolling around in pain. He thinks Eric may have bumped on it.
Me: Dammit Eric! Is Chris ok?
CJ: I don't think so dude they took him straight to the ER.
Me:I'll try to give him a call, do you know if he's home
CJ: Yeah he should be home.
Me: Crap, I just remembered, we're booked next week with Metropolis!
CJ: Yeah I know.....
Me: Well let me get a hold of Chris and see how he is doing. I don't want to replace him if I don't have too. I'll give him a call
CJ: Ok man. I just wanted to call and let you know. Later Bro.
Me: Later.

I got a hold of Chris the next day and he assured me that he was going to be in no shape to wrestle, as he was in pain just sitting. So, who to ask? Luckily we were working on the benefit that day and there were workers everywhere from all over. All we had to do was find someone who looked like they could be CJ's Partner. Just to take a second to mark out for CJ, he has a great look and is very underrated as a worker. So, we had to find someone with at least a decent look and an average work rate, plus we had to get along with them and they had to be cool with taken the low PO we had got Ok, Jon Michael? Working...dang. So there goes the Picture Perfect idea. That left DK, Stan, TGB, and Dustin. We knew that TGB was working with Midnight Gold and was probably booked already and Dustin was probably gonna say no because the money. So out of DK and Stan we decided to go with the guy that was booking jk. (Side note here: DK told me when I was doing the CineMaxx Videos that he hasn't watched a lot of them because he has no attention span. So if you're gonna say anything about him do it in the middle of a 3 minute So, I walked up to Stan and asked him and he said that sounded great to him. Disaster avoided and now we have saved the match.

Wrestlers can't plan for anything. We say hey you wanna work a show in 2 years? Yeah? ok be at Wal Mart, I'll drive. The next time they talk about it is either the night before they have to go or to see why the fuck they aren't at Wal-Mart yet. So, following this pattern to the "T" I didn't call anyone about when we were leaving or anything. I was setting in a movie and my phone blew up. All 3 Texted me at the same time. Anyways, I sent a text to them all that said this. "Guys I think we will leave at 12 to give us time to take pics and stuff. The hotel is a no go so we'll have to drive back. Hope that’s cool." Myles replied, Cj replied, No reply from Stan so I assumed it was cool. I leave the movie and about 30 minutes into my Wal-Mart trip. I get a text saying Stan won't be able to make it. TIME TO SCRAMBLE! "Hey DK, are you available? Stan can't come can you?" Derrick asked for Stan's number and said he'd call me back. (Has he or Dustin ever said that and meant it Anyways, 2 minutes later I get a call from Stan. He tells me he's cool to go so the search is over. I get my gear ready and hit the bed about 2 a.m.

The day of the show is finally here. I'm up at the crack of 10 I start to the computer to check for directions. I look at my phone, hey, I have a couple of texts from Stan and CJ. Probably wondering about some last minute info on the show. I open the text and read what Stan wrote. "Hey man the power at the building is out and I got to get it going for 2morrow. I can't go. sorry" Oh crap that’s not good what does CJ's say "Hey man just got a text Stan's not going so maybe I should sit out as well. Maybe ya'll could work each other or something." Did both of our opponents tap out 2 hours before we So, I call CJ and assure him I will have him a partner for the show. I ask him if I can get him a tag partner would he go. He says yes, so here we go again.

First call Derrick.
Me: Derrick whats up bro?
DK:Working in Arkansas. Stan already called me. I don't know who else is available man. Everyone I know is either working in Arkansas or for Rude tonight.

So I start out to get gas and I'm calling people the entire time. This led me to a conversation I had with Dustin Starr.

Me: Hey Dustin, what are you doing tonight?
DS: Not much man whats up?
Me: You wanna go to a show tonight?
DS: Where at?
Me: Metropolis,IL
DS: How far is that?
Me: about 2 1/2 hours away, but you can ride with me.
DS: When are ya'll leaving?
Me: In 30 mins or when you get here.
DS: GEEEZ. .....Well hows the PO?
Me: Not good dude.
DS: Well, FUCK RICHARD!(My shoot name)
Me: (laughing uncontrollably at the situation)

Dustin was a no go, even though he waited an hour to tell us this.(and he wonders why I keep hiding his belt when he leaves it sitting around) So, I picked up Myles and made calls to others. Kevin, Cody, Michael Gilbert, Kayhill, Aj Bradley, Alan Steele, Flash, Reno(no answer),Seth Knight,Shawn Reed and Just about anyone and everyone I had a number for. Just about all them had a booking with Rude in Humboldt. This led me and Myles to call Rude and see if there was any one he didn't book and could we talk to them before he called them. He said he'd check and see who he hadn't booked and get back with me. Then I called Pokerface. (Funny side note here. Poker is, like me, a huge mark for “Family Guy”. I once told him when we were feuding in TLCW, that I was gonna call an entire match like Herbert, the old pedophile character with a high voice. He tells me not to cause he'll start laughing. Then we lock up and he says, "Hey there muscley arms, take a headlock.")
So, when Poker answers the phone he tells me that he's working for Rude. I jokingly, ask him how much it would take for him to no show Rude. He laughs and says you should ask Rude how much it would take for him to no show his own show. I laughed....then called Rude to see if he'd no show his own we hung up we wondered why we were the only workers in the area that weren't asked to be on Rude's show...hmmm.)

It was about 1 now and we were supposed to leave at 12. So, we decided to leave Jackson and try to find a partner for CJ from on the road. It was then that Myles let out "Aww Crap!" knowing the day had been going downhill so far I nervously asked him what was wrong. That's when he told me this, "I forgot to put on underwear,man." How does that happen? That is like step one of getting dressed. I guess in all the excitement of trying to find a partner he had forgot. But we were too far gone to go back now. He was just gonna have to free ball the match that may not happen. We had gotten a small bite on a partner for CJ when we called Rocker. He was doing a shoot job so he said if he finished he would go, but it didn't look like it was gonna happen as we were already 2 hours behind schedule. CJ called and said he was about half way there and wanted to know if had any luck on the partner. We told him we'd talk about it when we got to the meeting place. That should have been a sign for him to turn around, but to his credit he trusted

At this point we were just trying to get a body to be in there with CJ, whether they fit his look or not. We even, believe it or not, called BT to see if he wanted to do it. He didn't answer his phone though. That would have been an awesome “Picture Perfect”. Imagine, BT in O'Neal's gear. Now try to We pulled up to the meeting point and the fact that no one was with us should have been a dead giveaway that we weren't going to be able to find him a partner.But we threw his bag in the car and told him we'd buy him lunch if he went. I don't think he would have flaked on us after driving to D-Burg but just in case we would try to entice him with a free meal.

We ate and got on the road. We had pretty much decided that if we had to we'd work CJ in a handicap match. Ironic twist here was that we were thinking of asking Brian to go. We didn't have a contact number and knew he probably wouldn't want to go for the money we were going for anyways. But, right as we are driving in to Kentucky we hear this on a scrambled station, "....Lawler....Arrested...was .....He was .......Back in Febuary he was arrested........similar charge...." Then the station went out. CJ and Myles both looked at each other and said NO WAY. I on the other hand was in my own little world and told them "Guys....there is no way Jerry got arrested in Jackson!" That both responded with "Uhh, no but Brian may have." Yep for some reason it was fate that CJ would have to work us by himself. This brought on the comedic phrase that was said throughout the day....."Damn,.....I blame Eric for"

Once we got into the town we followed the signs to the Superman statue. On the way there we noticed another Statue of sorts. Outside of this Big John grocery store was a statue of a lumberjack holding a bag of groceries. I assume he was Big John. He was decked out in a flannel shirt and jeans, but he had on an apron. The apron didn't seem out of place until we got word why it was on there. "Ya'll went by the Big John Statue huh?" my cousin's boyfriend asked us. "Ya'll notice the apron on the statue?" We all said yeah and then he asked us if we knew why it was there. When we told him no he replied with this, "ITS BECAUSE SOMEONE PAINTED A HUGE COCK ON HIM AND THEY COULDN"T PAINT OVER IT BECAUSE IT KEPT BLEEDING THROUGH!" upon further inspection he was right. The only problem was the apron didn't cover it completely. So, Big John stood there looking like the crazy, lumberjack, bag boy that was about to throw back the apron and molest you when you least expected it. At least the kids who did it didn't embarrass the city. They made Big John a tripod.

We made it to Metropolis and actually got to the building early. If we would have left when we were supposed to we would have been hanging around for hours with nothing to do. We got to the building at about 6 pm. Everybody was extremely nice. Tojo was cool with us going in a handicap match and let us do whatever we wanted. The building was ok but hot as hell. We actually worried when the referee almost passed out and we were told he couldn't ref our match. Keep in mind this guy was skinny and not carrying around weight like me or Myles. CJ was probably the 3rd or 4th biggest guy there too. So he was concerned as well. We were sweating just getting in our gear. No oil needed for CJ either....or niacin.....or push ups. We were done. We had a great match considering the stress of the day, though. CJ beat after a miscue on our part and the crowd really got behind him. They gave us a great reaction even though they had no clue who we were. When we got to the back everyone in the back come up to us and told us the match was great. Everyone watched the match and we considered it a huge compliment. We tried to rent a room for a few hours at the hotel next door, after our match. We had decided we couldn't go to the casino sweating like we were. They turned us down for a room. After spending most of my PO at Sonic, trying to get dehydrated, we decided the casino wasn't gonna happen. It was the cherry on top of a night that most people would have considered a disaster. But I think deep down we all enjoyed the trip. We had been to where Superman lived....and we tore his house down. Even if we did it with 3 people instead of 4.

----Maxx Corbin of "Genocide" is the newest columnist of RRO. Born Richard Mullikin, Maxx Corbin is a 7 year pro in wrestling. While growing up in Bemis,TN as a kid, he had no cable and lived week to week on the wrestling tapes he got from family and friends. He likes to think he has a great since of humor and makes light of tense situations. This is why he no longer works at the local hospital. He enjoys playing video games, stand up comedy, and music that very few have a taste for. He won an award in his middle school technology class for building a small bridge out of hobby wood. The bridge held 55lbs. He graduated from his high school with a 3.4 gpa. He was super bad ass at WCW vs NWO World Tour on N64(usually taking out opponents during Jerry Springer commercial breaks).