Tuesday, September 29, 2009

My World - MAXXED OUT!! "That's Never Gonna Hold" by Maxx Corbin

We never claimed to be architects but we knew just from the look of it that it just wasn’t gonna hold. Sure it looked cool, it even had and old school look to it. But, it wasn’t gonna hold. The “it” we were referring to was a 16 x 16 foot structure made of wood and …..well wood. That was it. And we knew….it wasn’t gonna hold!

This story sometimes gets looked over when we think about our time in that organization (I‘ll call it that instead of saying the abbreviation, that reads like tea whiff). At the time, there was a lot of drama and crap going on. So we weren’t too happy about being in Brownsville that night. We had moved on and given our notice to the company, we were done working for that organization. This was our last night there, and when we were given a choice at where we wanted to work for the night (tea whiff was running a show in 2 towns that night, Brownsville and Jackson) we choose Brownsville. (later we would be accused of no showing Jackson, but I won’t go into that now.) The atmosphere already was better when we walked into the armory than it was in Jackson. But we were uneasy. We knew they had to get the belts off us but we weren’t going to let them screw with us like they had been doing. So, we were in defense mode from the start.

We walk into the main area where the ring was and that’s when we saw it. We had been wondering for weeks what ring we would use. The douche bag who used to come with his, hard ass ring, had had one of many falling outs with the company and wasn’t going to show up. We could have cared less about that but it still made us question, “What ring are we going use?” The question was now answered. There it sat the all wood ring. At first glance it looked sturdy. There was even a wrestler named Spyder doing flip bumps on it off the top rope. We started examining this new ring and that’s when we noticed a problem. The ring had 3 braces. 3 long strips of metal that were about an inch wide and 1/8 of an inch thick and 2 layers of ply wood. We told Spyder to bump off the ropes again and we watched the ring. When the 245lbs Spyder bumped, the metal looked like it was going to break. We both looked at each other worried. We knew right then that this ring was screwed. It was built with the best intentions, but weight wasn’t taken into consideration. The guy that brought the ring was adamant that the ring would be fine. He even told us to get in there and try it out. So, we got in the ring. I took a big back bump and was surprised that the ring was still standing. I was lying in the center of the ring and Myles hits the ropes and walks towards me and the ring starts cracking. We decided we’d get out ASAP. We told the guy when he got back what happened and he assured us it was fine.

So, now on to worrying about the match. When we looked, we saw we were working a skinny little guy and a slightly chunky guy in overalls and we were going over, which was weird. We were leaving as their tag champs....ok...lol. For the life of me I could not tell you what these guys' names were. Neither of them should have been near a ring though. We knew this was our "punishment" for leaving. Tea whiff was kinda big on "punishment". They also had us as the opening match. I assume they thought this was punishment too, but the opening match is what sets the tone with the entire night. And boy, were we about to set the tone. We start the match and try to work with the guys and get nowhere. So we just took over. What can you do, right? We weren't being stiff, but we just couldn't give them anything and make it look good or believable. The ring at this point was holding on ok. I felt it give way too much though and didn't feel to good about being in there. I tagged out to Myles. I watched as the ring bowed under him and the opponent. I just knew it was going to collapse....but it didn't. "Huh, maybe the guy was right," I thought to myself. I tagged back in and felt better about being in there. If it held up for Myles I should be ok too. So we go for a few more minutes and I tell Myles we gotta go home. We tried to let the poor guys get some heat but it just wasn't happening. It was time to go home. Our move at the time was a combination Boston crab, leg drop. I hooked the Boston Crab, and Myles dropped a leg on the back of the guy's head. It looked real devastating. Since the ring has held up the whole match, I figure we'll be fine to hit this move. Hell, we were even told to "Not hold back" because the ring "Needed to be tested." So as Myles comes running in with the leg drop I can slowly feel the ring start buckling. It's not the normal ring vibrations either. Myles jumps and in that split second I knew the ring was about to fail the "test". I closed my eyes and waited to find myself on a concrete floor, hopefully uninjured. I hear Myles land BOOOBBBB CRACK, SNAP, POP!!! The crowds reaction was like a Japanese crowd as they let out an "OHHHHHHH". I still had not opened my eyes yet, but the fact that I wasn't hurt made me think that maybe the ring was fine. I opened my eyes and said "Nope, we just broke this fucking ring." I couldn't even see the fans around the ring. We had sunk in the ring so far that we were only about a foot or so from the ground. The only thing holding us up was the ring canvas. I, literally, climbed back to the corner. All I could think / keep saying was "Oh my god, we just broke this fucking ring!" They spent 40 minutes trying to put it back together. 40 minutes! Can you believe a 40 minute intermission? And no, Derrick wasn't running the show...lol. They're just lucky those 8 people watching didn't leave. Else, we might not have gotten our dvd PO that night.

----Born Richard Mullikin, Maxx Corbin is a 7 year pro in wrestling and provides RRO with a monthly column. While growing up in Bemis,TN as a kid, he had no cable and lived week to week on the wrestling tapes he got from family and friends. He likes to think he has a great since of humor and makes light of tense situations. This is why he no longer works at the local hospital. He enjoys playing video games, stand up comedy, and music that very few have a taste for. He won an award in his middle school technology class for building a small bridge out of hobby wood. The bridge held 55lbs. He graduated from his high school with a 3.4 gpa. He was super bad ass at WCW vs NWO World Tour on N64(usually taking out opponents during Jerry Springer commercial breaks).