This weeks column is going to be a short one! I've been at our hunting club in southern Arkansas. I haven't been doing anything & it still seems that I'm too busy for anything! Well, lets get started shall we?
Anxiety..... We all experience it in some fashion or another. I have been dealing with some bad cases of anxiety & panic attacks. This is something that a lot of people didn't know about me. I've kept it quiet, but now its time to talk about it.
I've been dealing with this since Dec. 15th 2005! Yes, I know the exact date. It is life changing. I can't explain alot of the things that go on with it, but I can tell you that you don't want to be in this sorta business with something like that! For me, its not the crowds, I love the crowds, but the traveling is hard to deal with! Wondering who I'm gonna work is another thing that gets me. I mean, I feel comfortable in the ring, but is the person I'm facing comfortable? Do I got to carry him? Can he work? Will he take care of me? Will I be up to his standard? The brain can work in crazy ways sometimes!
For you that don't know anything about anxiety or panic attacks, its crazy! You feel like your dying! Seriously, every single time feels like death! The breathing is hard to control, you're heart is beating out of you're chest, you're blood pressure goes up, tingling all over you're body, especially in you're fingers & toes! Its crazy!
Its been almost 4 years now. Its better on some days & worse on others! I'm starting to deal with depression & that's something else that's new to me! I guess from not being able to beat this anxiety the depression is kicking in? I'm taking medication for it. It seems to help some but it hasn't fixed the problem yet! Its a everyday problem that I haven't figured out how to beat yet?
So, now all of you know why I don't work full time with any certain company. I would love to commit to ASWF, NEW, EWE, DCW but I wouldn't be somebody they could rely on. I hate to say that, I really do, because it makes me sound bad! I love this business & I'll always be around it in someway or another.
I'm not coming on here looking for sympathy or anything. I just want people to know that its ok to let people know about you're problems. We are not all perfect, just one of us, & that's who I turn to everyday! Thank you Jesus!
I'm sorry for sharing my problems with you but I figured it was time for me to let it out! Thank you all for reading & caring! If anyone out there is dealing with matters like this or anything, give me a call & maybe I can help? Talking is a good therapy! You can email me at email@example.com or firstname.lastname@example.org Theres something for you to chew on!