----Maxx comes to us with his monthly column that actually should have ran last month, but between being busy and just not having any lucky with this column, it becomes a column for March. Maxx sent this with all the photos attached and with Blogger having a new editor [I am not real familiar with it]and photos being 3 or 4 different sizes, I just could not get it to work with the photos. Instead of trashing it [because I thought it was funny], I have done a bit of editing [that is why I am the editor of the site..lol] and have posted it. I think everyone that follows wrestling in this area will know who the wrestlers are that he is talking about and almost all the actors [click Nitro to get his pic] he replaces them with.
There is something like 6 trillion people in the world. So what are the chances that there is someone that looks like somebody else? I’d say there is a pretty good chance. Well, while watching American Gladiators last night I thought,”What if someone were to make a movie about some of the local wrestlers? How would play some of the guys in this area? Who looks the part?” So, that’s when I decided to write BT’s 7th rated column about movie castings. This is not intended to be a slam at anyone by the way. I’ll even poke fun at myself at the end. Also, some of these are givens. If you look similar to someone else it’s probably been mentioned in the locker room. So, in the words of Fergie, Will I Am, and that other dude from Black Eye Peas, let’s get it started.
Let’s start out with the inspiration of this column. The guy I saw on Gladiators that made me think about this and my fellow Hazelnut (sister hazel fan) Dustin Starr.
In my movie Dustin Star is played by Nitro from American Gladiators. Come on, they could pass as brothers. Of course Nitro looks a lot different back then than he does now. Don’t believe me look him up…yikes. But in his prime he shared some features with Dustin. So, Nitro in his prime gets to play 5 Starr.
One that is a given and that everyone knows is the Baron/ Vampire…lol. I’m not even gonna drag this one out. The celebrity look a like that plays Mr. Ring is none other than Billy Idol.
I was not the first to discover this. I think this is well known. I know there was a bunch of us at EWE that used to sing white wedding around him. I think the pictures say it all though. Never has someone been so perfect for a part since Patrick Stewart played Professor X. So, Billy Idol is the man that plays The Baron.
One guy, who I haven’t seen in a while and would like to hang out with again sometime down the road is Reno Diamond. One of the nicest guys in the biz and sometimes I think he gets overlooked at how talented he is. When I first met him though, I thought he looked a lot like then and still looks like the guy who plays him in my movie.
That’s right, Nelly. It’s more of a cross between Nelly and another actor, but I couldn’t figure out whom. To know how my mind works is to know that it wonders (my columns are proof of this). So, the first few times I was around him I thought of Nelly, from there I thought about Nelly songs, and before you know it Country Grammar is blaring in my heard…lol.
Another type cast (or copycat) is the guy who will play Derrick King. I think everyone knows where I’m going here. Yeah, it’s Sisqo. I guess you could throw Shelton in there now too. But I remember that was Derrick’s thing first. I remember I was a freshman in high school when the thong song came out and at first glance I thought why is Kel (from Kenon and Kel) stealing Derrick’s style? I know he must have really got tired of people making that connection, I know I would a little. I always wondered if he got autograph seekers out of it though.
The Albino Rhino will be played by King Kong Bundy…No questions asked here. In fact the first wrestling promoter that saw Myles wanted him to come in as his son. If Later on, when Myles had a Mohawk he would have been played by One Man Gang. But I think Bundy is the guy in this movie.
Now my next role choice might see some disagree with me. I think it’s because a lot of people still see him with long hair. But ever since he cut his hair there is only 1 person who could play Chris O’Neal….That’s right…..Al Gore. I have told Chris since he got his hair cut that he looked like a tv weather man or Al Gore. In fact when we would trade fun verbal put downs I would normally say something about his obsession with global warming. I will say that that Chris could play a young Al Gore better than Al Gore could play O’Neal, though. Plus, I don’t know if Gore’s Pele’ kick would be up to par either.
Christian Jacobs is played by Lance Cade! Trust me they look a lot alike.
I have told TGB this many times. I don’t know what it is that reminds me of his actor, but something is there. Maybe it’s the beard or the long hair(at one time) but the guy that plays Greg Anthony in my movie is….Kevin Smith. Smith would have to drop some ponds for the role and lighten the color of his hair a bit to pull off the role though.
Last but not least is good old Maxx Corbin himself. I could take the cheap way out and say that it should be George Clooney or Steve Austin, but I like to think of myself as an honest guy. So, if I was to have a role in the movie it would be played by one of 2 guys.
That’s right, Buh Buh Ray Dudley or Drew Carey. If Boss Man was still with us he could have done it too. Drew would have to grow a goatee. Drew could play me out of the ring and Buh Buh inside. That may be the best way to describe me anyways. I’m a guy who likes to laugh behind the scenes. Plus I used to get it a lot when the show was on. It was only cause I was chunky and wore glasses. But I accepted it..lol. Anyways, this is my cast. I may do more later on and if I missed any send me an email @ (email@example.com) and let me know who you think should play who. If it’s decently accurate I’ll add it next time. I figured I’d do something fun since my literary contributions will never be that of TGB or Pokerface….lol….I’m being serious though. Till the next time we meet remember, My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die!
----Born Richard Mullikin, Maxx Corbin is a 7 year pro in wrestling and provides RRO with a monthly column. While growing up in Bemis,TN as a kid, he had no cable and lived week to week on the wrestling tapes he got from family and friends. He likes to think he has a great since of humor and makes light of tense situations. This is why he no longer works at the local hospital. He enjoys playing video games, stand up comedy, and music that very few have a taste for. He won an award in his middle school technology class for building a small bridge out of hobby wood. The bridge held 55lbs. He graduated from his high school with a 3.4 gpa. He was super bad ass at WCW vs NWO World Tour on N64(usually taking out opponents during Jerry Springer commercial breaks).