Thursday, May 13, 2010

Mama Says It Bees That Way Sometimes "Pet Peeves" by Downtown Bruno Lauer

Hello cyber friends!!  Sorry it’s been so long since my last post, but between my job at WWE and NEW responsibilities and having to take care of my home responsibilities [cutting grass, laundry, maintenance] – there’s not much time left over.  But, since I’ve got a few minutes to spare here, I thought I would pass on some of my pet peeves.   You will either give me a nod of agreement or there will be some awkward acknowledgements from those people who behave this way.

When WWE comes to Memphis, don’t automatically assume that just because I work for the WWE and that I may know you, that this entitles you to free tickets.  It doesn’t work that way.  First of all, we make our living by selling tickets, ppvs, etc If we give it away, then we do not make a living.  Make sense??  Yes, I do receive a few comp tickets that I give to family and close friends, but not that many.  Could I come to your job and get free food/car repair/haircuts/healthcare ???

Also those that come up to me with the annoying bullshit of saying they would like to get them tickets, but they don’t mind paying for them are 100% full of SHIT!!  And you know who YOU are!  If you don’t mind paying for them, why the hell are you coming to me??  I am not Ticketmaster!!  Why??  Because you think I will say, “No..No..let me give you free ones!!”  I am not stupid.  That’s why you came to me in the first place!! 

Also, NO you cannot come in the back and meet the wrestlers, meet Vince McMahon, have your picture taken with the Divas, etc.  It’s a place of business where a multi-million dollar weekly TV show is being produced – not play time for you and your kids. 

I could go on and on for hours about stupid questions I hear on a regular basis! 

“Half that wrestling is fake!”

Which half??  That’s my question??

“I saw two guys who just beat the shit out of each other out drinking together after the show.”

This is too stupid to even warrant a response!  After the show, we move on to the next town, go home or whatever.  We don’t have time to go and socialize for the next part.  I have been hearing this for 30 f’n years with variations of it was Lawler  and Dundee [even though they were not hang out buddies anyway and Lawler never drank in his life], Sputnik and Billy Wicks, etc..BULLSHIT!! 

What else??  Let’s see…No, I can’t get you autographs!!  I am too busy and so are the WWE superstars.  It’s not something that I want to get a reputation for being a pain in the ass.  NO!!  I can not get you t-shirts, dvds, video games, hats, action figures and those of you lying %#&*#^#^ that say you don’t mind paying for items..then..WHY ASK ME??  Shop Zone – Concession Table!!  Whatever..not me, just grow up.  Thank you and good day to all. 

----“Downtown” Bruno Lauer is a legend in Memphis Wrestling. Two time winner of RRO's Referee of the Year 2008 and 2009. He appears bi-weekly with his non controversial column. Lauer had his biography published last year “Wrestling with The Truth” and can be purchased at Lauer is also currently employed by the WWE.