Friday, December 31, 2010

Twas the Night Before The New Year!!

----In a slight twist, here is our holiday tradition poem.

----Due to being "under the weather" and just forgetting to post this year's "Twas the Night Before Christmas," I present to you slightly different version of our annual poem.  


Twas the night before the new Year, low was the house 
Jon Michael was smiling big and it was after the day of Klaus
In the dressing rooms, the workers were talking about Wrestler of the Year
Hoping they could wrestle and then go get a beer

The fans were marking out of their heads
Waiting to hear what TGB said
Out from the back came John Steele
Who swore “I don't want to be nominated!!  What is my deal??!”

In the parking lot, arose such a mass
It was Derrick King from RRO Awards past
Standing by the window, it was his friend CJ
King yelled, “You know you can call him Viper or Girl Candaay”

As I looked outside again at the new-fallen snow 
Title belts mean nothing, you know??
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear
But a black man with blond hair holding a beer
He was so lively and wearing a crown on loan
His chest pushed out and he said, “It is the weekend, you know.”

Now PP !! Now Tatt2!! Now LSD!! Now Austin Lane !!
On Asylum!! On Seth Knight!! On Downtown Bruno!! On Ken Wayne!!
To the dressing room!! To the ring!! To the mat!!
Now hiptoss!! Now bodyslam!! Now rat!!

As the man made himself the center of the show
The fans were chanting “ Go, Stan, Go!!”
He yelled at the fans and said go home
I would rather be here all alone!!

He was dressed all in wrestling gear, from his head to his foot
And his gear was all tarnished with vodka and soot
His crown almost falling off the top of his head
“I will be the KING!!”, he proclaimed, only when Lawler is dead

His eyes—they were so blurry!! His speech so slurred!
His cheeks were red as cherry!! His vision was blurred!!
His mouth drooled like a sleeping bear
“Do you know who I am?? 3 time Wrestler of the Year!!”

The straw of his drink he held tight in his teeth
And smoke encircled his head like a wreath
Cody Melton was here for the night
He yelled, “JC, not me,  killed Ripley,  that is just not right!!”

He was colored and blond, a right grumpy man
And I laughed when he said he was the best in the land
A wink in his eye, a twist of his head
Wrestling in Mississippi again, oh I dread

He sprang out of the ring, to his crew gave a whistle
And away the workers flew behind him like the down of a thistle
But I heard him exclaim, as his girlfriend drove him out of site
“Happy New Year to all, and I am Derrick King….DAMMIT!!